Sometimes I get so embroiled in the wanting of my goals and in the longing for the fulfillment of my dreams NOW that I become frustrated and depressed as to why ‘things are taking so long to happen.
I also dwell too much on the past and on the future, and don’t pay enough attention to what is happening in my life in the present moment.
The thing is that my wanting of a particular outcome means that I am experiencing the lack of that very thing.
This paradox is astounding and, to be honest, quite disheartening. I’ve heard so many times to ‘act as if the thing you want is already here’. Until recently those word had the same impact on me as: ‘Hey Ann Marie, just play the lotto and you’ll become a millionaire’.
Yet there is truth behind those words. There have been moments in my life when I’ve been able to hold in my mind, and even more importantly, in my heart and in my very being, that I have actually attained the things I want to achieve in life. For those brief moments I feel at peace and content, and that is when something wonderful – and surprising — usually happens.
I’ve tried to figure out why this is so, and I’ve read extensively on this topic, trust me.
Naturally I found many explanations as to why, but the one that resonates with me the most is the idea of NOT RESISTING.
As weird as this sounds, resisting and refusing to embrace a negative feeling like depression, frustration or even anger and then pushing it away only enhances the negative feeling.
Pushing it away doesn’t mean it’s gone; rather the emotion is buried deep within us and builds up over a period of days, weeks, months, until like lava from a volcano bursts out in waves and waves of… gunk.
Conversely, being willing to look that negative emotion straight in the face and say ‘bring it on’, has the effect of allowing it to filter through us and out. After all, emotion is energy and energy wants to be free.
Strange but true.
It’s taken me a long time to get to this point and I know I still have quite a ways to go. But at least it’s a start and I enjoy being happy and grateful and appreciative for the people in my life as well as for the things I’ve done and accomplished.