I’m aware that life is too short to bury our dreams no matter how impossible they may seem. And yet… and yet… when ‘stuff happens’ and things appear to be taking waaaaaaay too long to materialize, or when on that upward journey I slip and slide back way way down and questions bombard my mind, like…
– When will my agent get me that publisher who will make all my dreams come through with an amazing publishing deal and marketing plan, not to mention an advance to make me go dancing through the streets and royalties to fill my account?
– When will I figure out where my WIP (Work In Progress) is going? Why is it taking so long to finish?
– – When? Why? How? WHEN!!!
… then giving up seems like the juiciest of apples, the meatiest of bones, the choice of immediate relief.
Ralph Waldo Emerson had it right when he said: “Life is a journey, not a destination.”
Yet, for years I’ve wanted to arrive already!!!!! And when I stepped up a couple of rungs and got closer to my destination, it wasn’t enough. I only saw what I hadn’t yet achieved. I had a hard time basking in the joy of success.
I’ve come to accept that I’m the kind of person who will always want more, no matter how much I achieve. I realize that instead of reaching for the stars I tend to reach for the next galaxies, and it’s more than likely I will never even leave this one.
Of course, this attitude brings with it moments of despair as to the why of things and the when of my self-imposed deadlines.
I’ve dwelled a lot on this, and on whether I should give up and become more ‘realistic’. Yet, that thought alone makes despair seem like a joy ride.
So I’ve decided this. I think it’s okay to want more, provided that I enjoy what is, in other words, to be mindful of the present moment… provided also that I not only take time to stop and smell the roses, but to also take time to watch them, to marvel at the way they sway in the wind, maybe even to imbibe their peace at existence in fulfilling their purpose without complaint.
For me that rose, at times, is my writing. Years ago I decided to embrace this aspect of myself instead of allowing fear and resistance to keep me stuck in a losing battle with my passion.
To ignore this drive within would be my failure. Whether or not I publish my other books in the timeframe I set, or whether or not they achieve the success-related goals I’ve envisaged for them, will only be of value IF I follow the pulse of my own ideas, IF I remain open to receiving ideas from above, from around me, from deep within, and IF I allow myself to stay in the right frame of mind to shape them into the story that’s striving to be told.
My upward climb is only in my imaginings, in my perception that my destination is always out of reach. So, I say, let’s journey together. It’s a beautiful world out there.